Saturday, August 6, 2011

Political Pandering and The Blame Game

The US government’s recent squabble regarding the national debt ceiling has finally revealed congress for what it is: 541 prepubescent monkeys throwing shit at each other. A democracy is based in open dialogue and a mutual understanding of compromise. Rational men elected to lead the “greatest nation on Earth” should be able to wisely rise above their ideological trappings for the good of their constituents. Alas! Republicans and Democrats instead spend their time alone, masturbating at the thought of their own superiority. The debt ceiling controversy was not a national crisis; it was a game of Risk played with the lives of common men by the powerful elite.

This charade was revealed to be a farce when House majority leader Mitch McConnell proposed a measure giving the President executive privilege to raise or lower the debt ceiling. Why? Because he wanted to see the problem solved and the “crisis” averted? From the Senator’s own mouth: “The single most important thing [Republicans] want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.” Millions of people’s jobs, medical care, and livelihoods were falling into the abyss of the political process while our countries leaders were playing politics. Thankfully, the American public has not turned a blind eye to Congress’ shortcomings.

In a recent New York Times/CBS News poll Congress received an 82% disapproval rating. 77% thought they acted like “spoiled children.” Even now, they cannot agree to stop wagging their genitals at each other. In response to the S&P’s degradation of the government’s credit rating John Boehner, the Speaker of the House and Republican mouthpiece, still pointed the finger at the Democrats. "It is my hope this wake-up call will convince Washington Democrats that they can no longer afford to tinker around the edges of our long-term debt problem.” The Republicans have suffered the greatest PR blow in this debacle and still they preach their Reaganesque mantras of tax cuts and smaller government. But nowhere has this cabaret stimulated more erections than in the 2012 Presidential race.

Michelle Bachman, the tea-bagging-fundamentalist-Neanderthal darling of the Republican party, suggested that the President fire his economic staff while Mitt Romney pronounced the death of the President’s policy, lauding America’s brand-spankin’ new AA credit rating as Obama’s “latest [economic] casualty.” I am sure that under their watchful eyes all this could have been averted.

The Democrats aren’t doing any better. A deep-set belief that your policies will better the country should thrust them into the public domain like an army on the shores of liberation. Instead, to maintain their golden thrones and comfortable paychecks, Democrats have fattened themselves with timidity. They have acted like puppies that have been beaten too much when they should have been the hounds of hell, come to gnaw on the bones of irresponsible government. They are pussies of the worst kind—cowards who call themselves kings.

“Bi-Partisan” politics is a joke. Democrats and Republicans care more for their legacies, luxuries, and opulence than they do about the well being of the American people. We now have heard from the horse’s ass, on so many occasions, that politicians would rather be re-elected than propagate progress. We must stand up to these megalomaniacs. Their egos grow a mile for every inch that we are set back, creating a chasm so wide that the Grand Canyon itself might groan in envy. It is time we take our lives back from these entitled and engorged enigmas. I call on our politicians to account for their crimes of omission and commission. Repent and we can be saved. Who knows? Maybe even shit-covered monkeys can make a difference.